Feeling Triggered at Work?
Simple Techniques you can use to slow down a moment where emotions and energy are heightened
Have you ever experienced a moment where conflict has escalated, a poor decision was made in a stressed state, you agreed to something you shouldn’t have or perhaps something was said that was later regretted? We’ve all been here and realistically; we will likely find ourselves in a setting like this again.
In our most challenging moments there is often a missing element. SPACE. And by creating just enough space, we can turn a potentially damaging moment created from a reactive state, into a considered and productive one based one.
Instead of denying we’re human or that these situations arise, how can we plan to create enough space from a stimulus which may trigger us, to allow ourselves to choose our response in the moment?
Below are some common situations we may find ourselves within and techniques we can use, to simply slow down the moment.
Triggers in Meetings/Conversations
Take a slow sip of water.
Use the box breathing technique.
Allow silence, even if it feels awkward.
Keep a visual ‘pause prompt’ nearby to ‘pause’ or ‘breath’, such as a post-it-note.
Conflict Situations
Verbal strategies:
“Let me take a moment to consider that.”
“This is something I feel strongly about. Let me take some time to organise my thoughts.
Use the "pause and paraphrase" technique to check understanding.
Take a short or complete break and re-engage in the conversation when calm.
Decision-Making Pressure
Use the 10/10/10 rule (How will I feel about this in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years?)
Clarify the specific aspects that require a decision right now.
Write down three possible responses before choosing one.
Concisely share the process you need to engage in, to effectively make a decision. E.g. reviewing data, talking to stakeholders, mapping out potential outcomes.
Support Resilience Beyond the Moment
Identify your common triggers and preferred techniques.
Start with one or two strategies and practice using them in low stake situations to build a habit, gradually expanding your repertoire.
Normalise taking space with your team, by role modelling thoughtful responses over reactivity.
Assess which techniques work best for different situations.
Proactively manage your energy and emotional wellbeing levels, to compliment these techniques.
And if you’re worried this short pause may be seen negatively by others, remember, your need for space can indicate a high level of professionalism, when shown to be a thoughtful consideration for your work, for the best outcomes and/or for your team.